Saturday, August 28, 2010

My Endless Summer

     A year ago, I was certain that I would have a job after I graduated.  I was one of those students who began applying for a teaching job two months before graduation.  I assumed that by being proactive, I was assuring myself a teaching position for the fall of '10.  Well, you know what they say about people who assume.  Long story short, many of my friends found teaching jobs, while I became the eternal apply-er.  The girl who applied to every job out there, but couldn't seem to land one.
     This might seem like I'm complaining, and maybe a couple of weeks ago that would have been the case.  But lately I've been learning to "be content whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11).  My circumstances are not quite as dire as Paul's when he wrote this letter to the church of Philippi, but I understand what it is to be in want.  There are many things that I have wanted these past months and do not currently have.  It is easy to look at the lives of my peers and to feel jealous of their situation in life, whether it's because they achieved the TFC dream (ring by spring, of course), because they got a job, or because they are seemingly "living it up."  I'm not saying that I never struggle with jealously about those issues, but God has truly shown me how to be happy where I am.  Earlier in the summer I sat around every day thinking about how awful my life was compared to Jane Doe's.  I would stay up too late, get up too late, eat junk food, and sit in my room all day.  Let me tell you from experience, that is no way to live.  No wonder I was jealous of other people's lives; I wasn't doing anything to make my life better!
     I've learned from my mistake, though.  I want to live a life that is memorable.  I don't want to wait to begin living until I have a job or a husband.  There is so much living I can do now!  I might not have a ton of money to work with, but money isn't everything.  Today I met an old friend at the park and we had a blast just walking the trail and talking.  Total cost?  Zero dollars.
     A couple of weeks ago I made that decision to keep living my life.  And guess what?  God reminded me that He's got my back.  You're talking to one of Gwinnett County's newest substitute teachers.  :]  It might not be the most prestigious job in the world, but I'm learning to love the little bit of extra freedom I still get to enjoy through a part-time job. 
     If you're going through some of the same jealousy issues that I was (and still am some days), or if you just need some encouragement, take these verses to heart:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
-Philippians 4:6-7
 -Abby :]


  1. Good post. I can relate...I thought that by moving to Florida for Grad school I was doing the right thing & maybe I was. But nothing seemed to work out for me. I never really made many friends, couldn't find a good job (I got one in my field that was terrible & then was fired), & was just depressed all the time.

    One of the most difficult things about college, IMO, is how artificial the environment is. Even though it's difficult, you're still so sheltered from real life & then all of the sudden...BAM! You're thrown out of it & have to start making these tough decisions with a very really possibility of failure. So much uncertainty...

  2. Andrew, I'm starting to feel some of that "real life" stuff. I have been shocked to realize how much STUFF I have to balance. I feel kind of silly that I didn't realize it before. In college so many of my decisions were made for me and now, all the sudden, I'm making life-altering decisions. Wow! I find myself wishing for less uncertainty, too, but I try to keep a good perspective by thinking of it as "adventure." Haha, crazy optimism!

  3. Not to knock TFC (because Lord knows I do that enough as it is), but I really feel like they do a disservice to their students in the way they shelter us from so much. By not allowing people to live off-campus until they're 22 (or is it 21?) unless it's with a family member or an approved staff member (or an extreme medical problem), it keeps so many students stuck in that environment where they don't have to worry about bills & expectations in the outside world.